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Aparadha Phale Mama

Composed by Bhaktivinoda Thakura

Gitavali · Siksastaka · No. 6

Siksastaka — Eight Instructions

Lyrics

Verse 1

aparādha-phale mama, citta bhelo vajra-sama, tuwā nāme nā labhe vikār hatāś hoiye, hari, tava nām ucca kori’, boro duḥkhe ḍāki bār bār

Verse 2

dīna doyāmoy karunā-nidān bhāva-bindhu dei rākhoha parān

Verse 3

kabe tuwā nāma-uccaraṇe mor nayane jharabo dara dara lor

Verse 4

gad-gada-swara kanṭhe upajabo mukhe bola ādha ādha bāhirābo

Verse 5

pulake bharabo śarīra hāmāra sweda-kampa-stambha habe bāra bāra

Verse 6

vivarna-śarīre hārāobuń jñāna nāma-samāśraye dharobuń parān

Verse 7

milabo hāmāra kiye aiche din ro-owe bhaktivinoda mati hīn

Translation

Verse 1

O Lord Hari, as a result of my offenses incurred in previous lifetimes, my heart has become hard as a thunderbolt, and feels no change upon chanting Your holy name. Now in utter hopelessness, O Lord Hari, I loudly sing Your name, and in great distress I call out to You again and again.

Verse 2

O Lord who is compassionate towards the fallen souls! O origin of all mercy! Please give to me a drop of divine ecstasy and thereby save my life!

Verse 3

When will an incessant stream of tears flow dripping and dripping from my eyes at the articulation of Your holy name?

Verse 4

When will a faltering voice choked with emotion arise in my throat, and when will words garbled due to ecstasy come from my mouth?

Verse 5

When will my body be filled with ecstatic rapture, and when will there be perspiration, trembling, and a stunned sensation again and again?

Verse 6

When, out of divine ecstasy, will all consciousness be lost in my pale and discolored body? And when will I hold onto my very life under the shelter of Your holy name?

Verse 7

This weeping Bhaktivinoda, who is devoid of all good intelligence, sobs, "O Lord, how will such a day ever be mine?"

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